VHS Fan art by H.P. Mendoza

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From Adrian Des Champs (@elfanzineargento) : (scroll down for English translation)

Hay todo un subgénero dentro del terror que explora las historias desde el punto de vista de los fantasmas. Mucho antes de que llegaran propuestas más mainstream como A Ghost Story o Presence, el director H.P. Mendoza @hpmendoza presentó en 2012 una pequeña joya independiente llamada I Am a Ghost (Soy un fantasma).

Filmada con una estética experimental, la película toma una decisión muy poco habitual: narrar la historia desde la perspectiva del propio fantasma. La película trabaja sobre la idea de que los fantasmas permanecen atrapados en un loop, una repetición constante que funciona casi como una forma de tortura existencial.

A diferencia de películas como Los otros —spoiler— donde descubrimos recién al final que los protagonistas son fantasmas, aquí lo sabemos desde el comienzo. La protagonista también lo descubre gradualmente: está atrapada en una realidad de la que parece imposible escapar. Y aquello que ella interpreta como una presencia sobrenatural resulta ser, en realidad, una psíquica intentando ayudarla a cruzar hacia otro plano.

Uno de los grandes aciertos de I Am a Ghost es su estética. No estoy completamente seguro de si fue filmada en digital o analógico, pero posee una textura visual cercana al cine analógico, con esa sensación fantasmal y desgastada que remite al terror gótico y a las viejas casas embrujadas. Esa textura no es solo decorativa: contribuye a transmitir la sensación de una existencia detenida, suspendida en el tiempo.

Otras películas que exploran esta idea del fantasma atrapado en una realidad cíclica podrían ser Nocturna lado B de Gonzalo Calzada @gonzalo_calzada , o incluso la radical y alucinatoria Enter the Void de Gaspar Noé. Pero I Am a Ghost encuentra una voz propia gracias a su intimidad, su melancolía y su enfoque minimalista.

La película está muy bien realizada y propone una mirada novedosa sobre una idea que podría parecer agotada. Más que una historia clásica de fantasmas, es una reflexión sobre la memoria, la culpa y la imposibilidad de soltar. Para quienes buscan un terror atmosférico, experimental y distinto.

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ENGLISH TRANSLATION:

There's a whole subgenre within horror that explores stories from a ghost's point of view. Long before more mainstream proposals such as A Ghost Story or Presence came, director H.P. Mendoza @hpmendoza introduced in 2012 a small independent gem called I Am a Ghost.

Filmed with an experimental aesthetic, the film makes a very unusual decision: to tell the story from the perspective of the ghost himself. The film works on the idea that ghosts remain trapped in a loop, a constant repetition that works almost as a form of existential torture.

Unlike movies like The Others — spoiler — where we find out just at the end that the protagonists are ghosts, here we know from the beginning. The protagonist also gradually discovers it: she's trapped in a reality from which it seems impossible to escape. And what she interprets as a supernatural presence turns out to be, in fact, a psychic trying to help her cross to another plane.

One of the biggest hits from I Am a Ghost is its aesthetic. I'm not entirely sure whether it was filmed digitally or analogue, but it has a visual texture close to analogue cinema, with that ghostly, worn-out feel that hints back to Gothic terror and old haunted houses. That texture isn't just decorative: it contributes to convey the sensation of a detained existence, suspended in time.

Other films that explore this idea of the ghost trapped in a cyclical reality could be Gonzalo Calzada's Nocturna: Side B @gonzalo_calzada or even Gaspar Noé's radical and hallucinatory Enter the Void. But I Am a Ghost finds a voice of its own thanks to its intimacy, its melancholy, and its minimalist approach.

The film is very well made and offers a novel look at an idea that might seem exhausted. More than a classic ghost story, it's a reflection on memory, guilt, and the inability to let go. For those seeking atmospheric, experimental and different horror.

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APA Film Retrospective by H.P. Mendoza

Anna Ishida and I will be doing a Q&A after the May 23 screening of I Am a Ghost at APA’s Film Retrospective!

Screened in our 2012 festival, “I Am A Ghost” by H.P. Mendoza was chosen as a retrospective film for our 20th anniversary. This film, a lasting stand-out, is remembered for its adept use of simple visual tools and an expertly crafted story to invoke true horror, an extraordinary achievement on its limited budget. It is distilled horror for the modern minimalist. In this feature, Mendoza’s second narrative, Emily is a troubled spirit who haunts her own house every day and wonders why she can’t leave. With the help of Sylvia (Jeannie Barroga), a clairvoyant hired to rid the house of spirits, Emily (Anna Ishida) is forced into a patient/therapist relationship and uncovers mysteries about her past that may help her move onto the next place. 

Reflections from the filmmaker:

“When I set out to make ‘I Am a Ghost,’ I knew it would have to be a DIY labor of love because of how weird it was. Most of the first act is silent. The majority of the film has just one woman on screen. The crux of the movie depends on unorthodox edits. Every time I got feedback on the movie, I’d always respond with ‘you have to trust me.’ And when it was all done, I remember having the unsettling feeling that I may have made the most inaccessible sophomore film possible and that I may have just killed whatever career I had been building over the last few years. Eight years later, I’m proud to say that the film still gets write-ups and accolades and I’m honored that DC APA would choose ‘I Am a Ghost’ for its 20th Anniversary retrospective.”

Read more HERE!